Is Overthinking Killing You?
Many of us are overthinkers. Dangerous overthinkers! Why dangerous? We think even when there’s nothing to think about. We think about things that don’t even exist. We think about fake scenarios and then get upset for no reason. Yes, we exist!
We are also tired of this but this is the way we are. When we call you and you don’t respond to it for like two hours, we tend to think you hate us or are ignoring us. When we text you and you take more than one hour to reply, we are definite you don’t wanna talk to us. When we tell you about something very important to us and get no long response, we feel unheard and dismayed. Even when you ensure us the same thing twice, we still wanna hear it thrice until we feel contented. I know, I know this is too much but our brain functions like this. There’s a bug that keeps returning and I don’t know of any coder who can fix it. It’s like the Laminar Flow. The water appears to be still but it is flowing. Similarly, we appear like everything’s fine but there’s chaos going on inside our heads and hearts. Many people suffer from this and I assure you that this gets worse with time. So, the internet already has tons of articles addressing how to cope with overthinking. You can check them out. We’ll come to this later.
But why do we overthink? Why are we so insecure? Why do we want so much attention from certain people?
Well, one reason can be the past traumas. You tend to feel avoided when in the past people have actually avoided you and you understood it late. When you were being given silent treatments but you just thought they might be busy. You naturally feel abandoned when some people have actually left you when you told them about your insecurities or things that were serious to you and you needed them the most. Or just because they wanted to leave! At those times, when you should have reacted in a certain way and you didn’t, now even at the small inconvenience, you want to react that way. Poor souls!
Past trauma is something nobody wants to talk about. It’s like a haunted mansion. The mansion being your heart. You want people to enter it but fear that the ghosts might scare them away. And sometimes, they really do!
But other times, it’s just you cooking things in your mind. So stop cooking! And better do it in the kitchen, I’ll say! No, they didn’t ignore you. They were really busy. This may take time for you to digest but it is true. And no, they didn’t abandon you when they replied laconically but maybe they were too stunned to say or were waiting for you to vent out completely or anything other than what you thought. Yes, they want to talk but maybe they are also overthinkers and might be thinking the same thing as “Should I text first? Will it be alright?” It is just your mind cooking the worst dishes and crying while eating them. Solution? Stop cooking! Can’t stop? Cook delicious! At least try to.
Our minds are the most wonderful things we have got. If used beautifully, one can achieve wonders and at the same time can give the worst nightmares. So, accept your fears and give time to other people. Give time to yourself too. No, you don’t have to tolerate disrespect but understand the difference between the two. Try to understand people’s actions. Actions reveal everything. Self-introspection can also help. Try to observe why you are behaving like this. Is it something they are doing or something just you are seeing? Distract yourself with your hobbies or sit with nature. Train your brain to accept certain things the way they are. Only then you can be at peace. That being said, I know just saying or writing is much easier than actually implementing. Trust me I know the struggles. But unless we won’t allow ourselves to be happy, nobody can make us happy. No matter how much light people are projecting onto you, it’s all in vain when you are surrounding yourself with curtains. So, remove the curtains and see how much some people love you and want to love you. You’ll soon realize that the only thorn in their efforts and your peace was you.
One last thing. Enough slamming of us! Let me tell you something sweet about us. Though we overthinkers are super annoying, we are adorable too. If you tell us something nice, we’ll think about it the whole day and get happier. So, don’t shy away from complimenting us. Have a nice day!